Last night a dear friend I hadn't seen in a while visited us in our rental house here in New Orleans. Our typical evenings together are usually sharing wine while catching up on news. I texted her about my 100 day challenge- expecting that she wouldn't drink when we got together. Yet when I texted her yesterday about what she'd like to snack on, she replied: white wine and I eat almost anything.
Well, I thought, I can handle this. I asked DH if he would please buy a bottle of white wine, open and pour it for her, and handle pouring refills so I didn't have to handle the wine bottle at all. And so he did.
Observation #1: Friend is a devout Catholic. She mentioned how another friend of hers was also doing a 100 day no-alcohol challenge- for a special novena or something (please forgive, I'm sure I have the religious terminology wrong). And friend approached my challenge like it was no big deal, like it wouldn't be any harder for me than, say, giving up sweets for Lent. And I actually found this very refreshing. Since it was no big deal in her mind, it made it easier for me to say to myself: This is no big deal, you are just choosing not to drink wine tonight. It turned out to be very refreshing NOT to have a moral/judgmental component attached to my actions.
Observation #2: I bought a big jigsaw puzzle for us to work on as we talked, as distraction for me. This worked well. And as we sat at the DR table doing the puzzle, I had the same great time I always have with her, complete with lots and lots of belly laughs. I will admit we also had a ton of great food to nibble on, which helped me feel not-deprived (back to my usual low-carb eating after this week in New Orleans!!!). And not-drinking was not nearly as hard as I feared it might be.
The things I keep learning about sobriety, they continue to surprise me!
Happy Thanksgiving and Many Blessing for the coming year!
Well, I thought, I can handle this. I asked DH if he would please buy a bottle of white wine, open and pour it for her, and handle pouring refills so I didn't have to handle the wine bottle at all. And so he did.
Observation #1: Friend is a devout Catholic. She mentioned how another friend of hers was also doing a 100 day no-alcohol challenge- for a special novena or something (please forgive, I'm sure I have the religious terminology wrong). And friend approached my challenge like it was no big deal, like it wouldn't be any harder for me than, say, giving up sweets for Lent. And I actually found this very refreshing. Since it was no big deal in her mind, it made it easier for me to say to myself: This is no big deal, you are just choosing not to drink wine tonight. It turned out to be very refreshing NOT to have a moral/judgmental component attached to my actions.
Observation #2: I bought a big jigsaw puzzle for us to work on as we talked, as distraction for me. This worked well. And as we sat at the DR table doing the puzzle, I had the same great time I always have with her, complete with lots and lots of belly laughs. I will admit we also had a ton of great food to nibble on, which helped me feel not-deprived (back to my usual low-carb eating after this week in New Orleans!!!). And not-drinking was not nearly as hard as I feared it might be.
The things I keep learning about sobriety, they continue to surprise me!
Happy Thanksgiving and Many Blessing for the coming year!
Happy Thanksgiving, Carrie! I'm happy to read that you've had a successfully sober holiday.
ReplyDeleteI haven't shared my 100 day challenge with anyone except my boyfriend. I'm not sure how people will react. I'm hoping that it won't be a big deal to friends.
I'm sober 26 days, and it seems that our moods seem similar at certain days.
Congratulations on day 30! They say the next 30 will fly by. :)
Hi, SignGurl! I know, admitting to, talking about the hundred day challenge, in our US culture, seems almost like admitting a moral flaw, admitting to being one with the poor alcholics who are homeless and gulping down cheap bottles of sweet wine.
DeleteAs I accumulate sober days, though, I find myself getting a bit more belligerent about my choices. As in, I'm not drinking today. Why? I don't feel like it. And that is enough information for anyone who notices- and most people don't even notice.
And my plan B, if anyone gets obnoxiously curious is, Oh, that's so boring you don't want to hear about it. Now, you were saying...and change the subject by asking a question about something they will like to talk about!
I find it so helpful to feel part of community of people who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, especially people who are at about the same stage of the journey- Thanks for dropping by- and Congratulations on- would it be Day #27 for you today?
There is nothing like a good jigsaw to calm the brain and gather people! Congrats on day 30! I'm right behind you :)
ReplyDeleteGinger- Does the name Ginger refer to having red hair? Just asking, since I'm a redhead! I think you are right- planning things like jigsaw puzzles provides distraction, self-soothing- and makes not obscessing about not drinking alcohol easier.
DeleteDo you realize that you and I- and SignGurl above- are almost 1/3 of the way through our initial 100 day challenge??!!
Carrie - I was very red as a small kid then turned quite blonde. Ginger is my alias. I've gone anonymous for blogging so that I could be honest (see "about me"). As a physician myself, with two children, I had too much to risk :)
DeleteI love the your physiological posts. The nerd in me needs to know what my body is doing on the inside. :)
I'll check out SignGurl! Thanks!