Last night a dear friend I hadn't seen in a while visited us in our rental house here in New Orleans. Our typical evenings together are usually sharing wine while catching up on news. I texted her about my 100 day challenge- expecting that she wouldn't drink when we got together. Yet when I texted her yesterday about what she'd like to snack on, she replied: white wine and I eat almost anything.
Well, I thought, I can handle this. I asked DH if he would please buy a bottle of white wine, open and pour it for her, and handle pouring refills so I didn't have to handle the wine bottle at all. And so he did.
Observation #1: Friend is a devout Catholic. She mentioned how another friend of hers was also doing a 100 day no-alcohol challenge- for a special novena or something (please forgive, I'm sure I have the religious terminology wrong). And friend approached my challenge like it was no big deal, like it wouldn't be any harder for me than, say, giving up sweets for Lent. And I actually found this very refreshing. Since it was no big deal in her mind, it made it easier for me to say to myself: This is no big deal, you are just choosing not to drink wine tonight. It turned out to be very refreshing NOT to have a moral/judgmental component attached to my actions.
Observation #2: I bought a big jigsaw puzzle for us to work on as we talked, as distraction for me. This worked well. And as we sat at the DR table doing the puzzle, I had the same great time I always have with her, complete with lots and lots of belly laughs. I will admit we also had a ton of great food to nibble on, which helped me feel not-deprived (back to my usual low-carb eating after this week in New Orleans!!!). And not-drinking was not nearly as hard as I feared it might be.
The things I keep learning about sobriety, they continue to surprise me!
Happy Thanksgiving and Many Blessing for the coming year!
Well, I thought, I can handle this. I asked DH if he would please buy a bottle of white wine, open and pour it for her, and handle pouring refills so I didn't have to handle the wine bottle at all. And so he did.
Observation #1: Friend is a devout Catholic. She mentioned how another friend of hers was also doing a 100 day no-alcohol challenge- for a special novena or something (please forgive, I'm sure I have the religious terminology wrong). And friend approached my challenge like it was no big deal, like it wouldn't be any harder for me than, say, giving up sweets for Lent. And I actually found this very refreshing. Since it was no big deal in her mind, it made it easier for me to say to myself: This is no big deal, you are just choosing not to drink wine tonight. It turned out to be very refreshing NOT to have a moral/judgmental component attached to my actions.
Observation #2: I bought a big jigsaw puzzle for us to work on as we talked, as distraction for me. This worked well. And as we sat at the DR table doing the puzzle, I had the same great time I always have with her, complete with lots and lots of belly laughs. I will admit we also had a ton of great food to nibble on, which helped me feel not-deprived (back to my usual low-carb eating after this week in New Orleans!!!). And not-drinking was not nearly as hard as I feared it might be.
The things I keep learning about sobriety, they continue to surprise me!
Happy Thanksgiving and Many Blessing for the coming year!
