Sunday, November 10, 2013

Day #12- Monkey Chatter

(no disrespect meant to monkeys, of course, but they DO chatter on so).

I've been working on listening to my own background chatter, the seemingly involuntary background talk running on the backburner of my mind all the time.  (note to self:  does the mind really have a back burner?)

What I've learned is how much of it is/was concerned with alcohol.   Before (ie, 13 days ago and before that) there was a stream of berating talk:  how much DID you drink last night, where did that bruise come from, what is it that you are not remembering, why are you so weak, what is wrong with you that you always need to escape into alcohol, I thought you were only going to drink one bottle of wine last night, on and on and on.

And that is shifting! I am really amazed.  There is actually some silence.  And the tone of that background chatter has become slower, less frantic, more neutral instead of nagging and negative.  What a reprieve!

That alone is almost worth the Price of Admission, the giving up of the solace of escape into wine from whatever I am obsessing about on a given day.  

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I'd love to hear about your journey, and hear your take on my journey. Comments are very welcome!!