Another flight today. No wine. It was OK.
I'm sitting at a resort outside Atlanta, temp nearly 80 degrees, sunny, looking out over a beautiful lake. And at home everything is at a standstill due to an ice storm.
Traveling alone can make me pensive. Today I've been thinking about what I was using alcohol to avoid, to mask. What parts of my best self do I find uncomfortable to acknowledge, to appreciate? Using a guideline for this trip of making self-care and sobriety my top priorty (screw anything that interferes with this!) is an interesting experience. I am appreciating myself, perhaps even cherishing and celebrating myself. This, I think, is something those of us who turn to excess amounts of alcohol do not do well.
What, I think, just what if, I treated myself like this all the time? With honor, tenderness and care? (as distinct from shirking necessary duties, turning into a lazy slob, or not doing anything productive!) I mean, just what if I believed it was true? That I am a good, kind, honorable being with a right to exist and a duty to be true to myself?
If I'd started from that place, I don't think alcohol would ever have seemed attractive? How do we learn to be so mean, so careless and hurtful to ourselves?
The good part, however, is that we can recognize and change this. This is a journey we are all on, and I am so grateful for this cyber-community the celebrates and reinforces this new world-view and self-view!!!
I'm sitting at a resort outside Atlanta, temp nearly 80 degrees, sunny, looking out over a beautiful lake. And at home everything is at a standstill due to an ice storm.
Traveling alone can make me pensive. Today I've been thinking about what I was using alcohol to avoid, to mask. What parts of my best self do I find uncomfortable to acknowledge, to appreciate? Using a guideline for this trip of making self-care and sobriety my top priorty (screw anything that interferes with this!) is an interesting experience. I am appreciating myself, perhaps even cherishing and celebrating myself. This, I think, is something those of us who turn to excess amounts of alcohol do not do well.
What, I think, just what if, I treated myself like this all the time? With honor, tenderness and care? (as distinct from shirking necessary duties, turning into a lazy slob, or not doing anything productive!) I mean, just what if I believed it was true? That I am a good, kind, honorable being with a right to exist and a duty to be true to myself?
If I'd started from that place, I don't think alcohol would ever have seemed attractive? How do we learn to be so mean, so careless and hurtful to ourselves?
The good part, however, is that we can recognize and change this. This is a journey we are all on, and I am so grateful for this cyber-community the celebrates and reinforces this new world-view and self-view!!!
Welcome to the Southeast ;) You're not here for the big game, are you?
ReplyDeleteNope, just giving talks at a professional conference. And enjoying this change from ice and snow!!
Delete