Another wine-free Friday evening- this is getting to be a habit! I was asleep by 9:30 and had a delicious 8+ hours of sleep. Followed by a few hours at the gym this morning- yay!
We know that most of us who have alcohol-consumption problems have deficient OFF switches for saying NO to the 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc drink. But I'm thinking today about that other OFF switch, that seems much more possible for us to change than the first.
This is the OFF for the To-Do List, OFF for everything must be accomplished today, OFF for If I don't do everything faster and twice as well as my (sister, friend, mother, etc) I am a failure.
It's a softening that helps turn that switch off. A willingness to believe I am inherently a good and valuable person, regardless of exactly how much I accomplish today. And this is really important for me! Part of the reason I was so attracted to alcohol was how it allowed me to ignore that To Do Everything Now voice. It put cotton plugs in my ears, so that I could no longer hear it, and thus could relax.
Imagine my astonishment in discovering now that I- yeah, that would be me!- I hold the power to turn that Voice on and off. At 8 PM at night, I can say- OK, that's enough for today. Have some tea, write in your journal, read a fabulous book- then turn off the lights and enjoy your sleep.
Even at noon on a Saturday- I can shut off the Voice if I feel stressed and in need of rest. Even at work, I can shut off the home-family-life-related Voice, and just laser-focus on patient issues.
This is another Earth-Moving revelation for me! Shutting off the switch that controls that annoyingly helpful voice is not some magical power integral to alcohol. I had that power all along, but just misplaced it.
Glory Be!!!
We know that most of us who have alcohol-consumption problems have deficient OFF switches for saying NO to the 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc drink. But I'm thinking today about that other OFF switch, that seems much more possible for us to change than the first.
This is the OFF for the To-Do List, OFF for everything must be accomplished today, OFF for If I don't do everything faster and twice as well as my (sister, friend, mother, etc) I am a failure.
It's a softening that helps turn that switch off. A willingness to believe I am inherently a good and valuable person, regardless of exactly how much I accomplish today. And this is really important for me! Part of the reason I was so attracted to alcohol was how it allowed me to ignore that To Do Everything Now voice. It put cotton plugs in my ears, so that I could no longer hear it, and thus could relax.
Imagine my astonishment in discovering now that I- yeah, that would be me!- I hold the power to turn that Voice on and off. At 8 PM at night, I can say- OK, that's enough for today. Have some tea, write in your journal, read a fabulous book- then turn off the lights and enjoy your sleep.
Even at noon on a Saturday- I can shut off the Voice if I feel stressed and in need of rest. Even at work, I can shut off the home-family-life-related Voice, and just laser-focus on patient issues.
This is another Earth-Moving revelation for me! Shutting off the switch that controls that annoyingly helpful voice is not some magical power integral to alcohol. I had that power all along, but just misplaced it.
Glory Be!!!
Who knew that putting down the drink would lead to so many other revelations about ourselves? It is beyond liberating :)
ReplyDeleteIt really is, isn't it! Sometimes I feel like an intrepid explorer, complete with pith helmet and machete in hand! lol!
ReplyDeleteIt is freaking unbelievable how much changes when we take away the booze, one small decision = huge beautiful consequences! I had no idea what was to unfold when I took the booze away.....so so so so happy that I decided to do that. Great post again xxx
ReplyDeleteYeah- it's kinda like stopping wine released one pinball into an old-fashioned game, and that ball keeps bouncing around, setting off lights and whistles, and the score keeps climbing, and there are more flashing lights and bells, and that ball keeps bouncing around, more and more and more goodness!
ReplyDelete