Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Sober Day #50!! And a Night of Dreams

I had a busy night of dreams last night, which seems appropriate for the landmark of Sober Day #50!

I've only ever had one dream before with alcohol- then last night, 2 in one night.  In the one before, I surreptitiously drank an airplane bottle of wine, fretted over whether to admit it or not, and awoke very relieved that it had been a dream, not a real breaking of my 100-day promise to myself.

In both of my dreams last night, I was tempted by alcohol, thought through the pros and cons, and decided not to drink.

Dream #1:  I am unexpectedly in another country for a weekend without friends- I think they were late joining me and would be there in a day or two.  I was walking down a quaint street with beautiful buildings and bright colors- Sevilla?  Somewhere in Portugal?  I walked by a lovely cafeteria- bar.  It was a cold day, and it looked so bright and inviting inside.  I thought, nobody I know is anywhere around, I could have a glorious day of drinking wine, be back to normal before my friends arrived, and no one would know.  In the dream, I was aware of my exact thought process.  I stood on the cobblestones by a beautifully-painted arch, and thought:  But, I would know.  And when I talked about 100 days without alcohol, I would know it was a lie.  So I won't do it.

Dream #2:  In a small cozy restaurant-bar, by myself, waiting for a table.  I am hungry, and thinking droolingly about the steak I am going to have.  I notice the drinks station, where there are lots of interesting soft drinks, and glimmering bottles of wine.  I consider how good a glass of merlot would taste with my steak.  Then I notice a menu with pictures of items offered.  There are some mouth-watering photos of ice cream sodas in tall glasses with whipped cream on top.  I decide I will order one of these with my steak instead.  (This is a bizaare decision for the real-life me, since I eat a fairly strict low carb diet, and am not even that fond of sweets!)

I think the benefits of not-drinking are penetrating my unconscious too!

Dream #3:  Another physician walks up to me, looks closely into my eyes, and announces they show that I have a disease.  I quickly find a mirror and inspect my eyes.  My pupils have slid up, so that instead of being at the center of my iris, they are at the top and sliding upwards, with wispy strands of white showing the path they have taken.

I think this one is informing me that my vision is shifting, meaning that how I see my relationship with alcohol is changing fundamentally.

Altogether I take these three dreams as highly auspicious for sober success as I start on the second 50 days of this challenge!


  1. The subconscious is a powerful thing ..... :) Haven't had one dream about booze yet - maybe tonight will be the night!

  2. Oh, I love dream stuff. And that I found your blog! And that even in your dream #1 you didn't want to lie to yourself. The self honesty is good isn't it? It feels so good to tell yourself the truth and not feel like a liar. I used to hate the feeling- you know, when you say to yourself "It's fine, only one or two." or "I won't do it again." when you wake up hungover from the night before. Congrats on day 50!

  3. Saying "I don't lie to myself" is almost as good as saying "I don't drink". Thanks for 'introducing' yourself, Amy!

  4. I panicked the first time I had a drinking dream. Thought it was ominous stuff. That I would drink. Or something bad like that. But they come. Normal for people like us. I don't take too much stock in them. They aren't the harbinger of relapse or anything like that. They just happen. I get them still now and then. I still wake up a bit panicky! They pass and you will get used to them.

    Congrats on day 50!



I'd love to hear about your journey, and hear your take on my journey. Comments are very welcome!!