For the first couple of weeks of this challenge, time in the evenings seemed so empty. About 4 PM, wine started calling to me. It felt like a physical effort to resist it- almost like there was an actual Wolf in the room with me, trying his smarmy best to have me join him in hoisting a celebratory drink. (What celebration? Well, uh, you know, this is Wednesday and, uh, um, oh, it snowed last night...always something!).
By the time I got to 7 PM, I felt like I'd been through 20-30 rounds in a boxing ring, with an opponent who out-weighed me by about a hundred pounds. I would tuck myself in bed by 8 PM because (a) I was exhausted and (b) at least in my sleep I wouldn't be thinking about alcohol.
Now, even though I'm only 6 weeks into abstinence, my evenings feel very different. It didn't take long for me to find all sorts of cool, enjoyable things to fill my evenings: Household projects, evening Pilates classes (I couldn't trust my driving to attend these while drinking), crossword puzzles, working on quilts, making glass beads, cooking, keeping up to date with professional literature, even playing Candy Crush...
Now I've swung to the other end of the pendulum- there is sooooo much I want to do, that I have trouble tearing myself away and going to bed. My total time in bed has been creeping downward again.
While drinking, I typically slept about 4 hours a night. In my first few weeksof the 100-Day-Challenge, it was regularly 8, 9, even 10 hours. Since I get up at 5:30, when I go to bed determines how much sleep I get. I think 8 hours is ideal for me, which means being in bed by 9:30- and I've been fighting to get myself into bed by 11 PM.
My new sleep challenge: Aim for being in bed by 9:30 most nights. Sleep is so important for resilience and good-decision-making- I need to remind myself that by leaving whatever fascinating thing I am doing and going to bed at my target time, I am equipping myself for better success in this sobriety project.
By the time I got to 7 PM, I felt like I'd been through 20-30 rounds in a boxing ring, with an opponent who out-weighed me by about a hundred pounds. I would tuck myself in bed by 8 PM because (a) I was exhausted and (b) at least in my sleep I wouldn't be thinking about alcohol.
Now, even though I'm only 6 weeks into abstinence, my evenings feel very different. It didn't take long for me to find all sorts of cool, enjoyable things to fill my evenings: Household projects, evening Pilates classes (I couldn't trust my driving to attend these while drinking), crossword puzzles, working on quilts, making glass beads, cooking, keeping up to date with professional literature, even playing Candy Crush...
Now I've swung to the other end of the pendulum- there is sooooo much I want to do, that I have trouble tearing myself away and going to bed. My total time in bed has been creeping downward again.
While drinking, I typically slept about 4 hours a night. In my first few weeksof the 100-Day-Challenge, it was regularly 8, 9, even 10 hours. Since I get up at 5:30, when I go to bed determines how much sleep I get. I think 8 hours is ideal for me, which means being in bed by 9:30- and I've been fighting to get myself into bed by 11 PM.
My new sleep challenge: Aim for being in bed by 9:30 most nights. Sleep is so important for resilience and good-decision-making- I need to remind myself that by leaving whatever fascinating thing I am doing and going to bed at my target time, I am equipping myself for better success in this sobriety project.
Great post! Those early evenings were brutal, weren't they?
ReplyDeleteSleep is a tough one. I've always been a night owl and drinking made that worse. If i'm in bed before midnight, it's a good night. And if I can turn off electronics and be "lights out" by 1 am? Even better.
It's on my list of things to improve. We really are in sync, arent' we? lol
Maybe it's like one of those three-legged races- we're a well-coordinated winning team!!
DeleteI loved bedtime in the early days and like you am now struggling to get to bed before 11pm. Books were always a pleasure for me but now they are my vice and it's them that keep me up late at night! Congrats on day 43 :)
ReplyDeleteWell, books as a vice sure beats alcohol- but they are definitely 'addictive' too, lol! I'm the one who will even read the back of the cereal box if there's nothing better around! Are there any alcohol/sobriety books you particularly recommend?
ReplyDelete