Saturday, December 7, 2013

Sober Day #39- Alcohol Dream and What Really Matters

Last night I had my first dream- ever, as far as I can recall- that included alcohol.  In the dream, I was at day #38 of this 100 day challenge.  The dream seemed to be a bit mixed up with Thanksgiving, in that some house that my extended family was gathered in, I had to go downstairs (like to a lonely basement-type place) to prepare all the gravy.  Down there, I found an airline-sized bottle of wine.  I drank it surreptitiously while preparing the gravy.  I gave me a little buzz that I enjoyed.

I chewed to chiclets of gum (do they even have these any more?) to mask any smell on my breath.  Obviously, I did not want anyone else to know that I had had wine.  Then I went back to join the other- and felt very conflicted.  Interestingly, I did NOT feel like I wanted more wine.  But I wasn't sure how to record this on my blog.  To Lie? To admit such an untended slip?  I was in the process of pondering this when I awoke.

I was soooooo relieved to realize that had been a dream, that I had not really broken my promise to myself.  The profound intensity of this relief took me by surprise.

I kind of backed into this 100 day challenge, on a whim, without really planning to do it.  And yet, as time goes on, it is becoming more and more important to me.  And more and more illuminating to see clearly the many things I was avoiding, hiding from.  And I become more and more interested in finding out who I really am.

What a surprise!


  1. Wow. I haven't had drunk dreams yet, but something tells me they'll happen soon, since i"m on your heels. Thanks for the warning :)

    Side note: last time around I broke 9 months of sobriety with an airline bottle of wine. And it was all downhill from there. Beware the little bottles - they seem so innocent, don't they!

    1. Ginger- I so appreciate your companionship! We are kind of step-in-step in this enterprise, aren't we? With my dream and your warning- I will be picturing skulls and crossbones on all airline bottles of wine I encounter in the next few months!


I'd love to hear about your journey, and hear your take on my journey. Comments are very welcome!!