Friday, January 17, 2014

Sober Day #80 - What if?

Hitting this landmark number is amazing to me.  Finding that calm and no-drama are very satisfying is amazing.  Finding that a great night's sleep and waking up energized beats the pseudo-relaxation of evening alcohol is amazing.  Finding that non-drinking isn't the hell-hole I imagined it to be is amazing.

And so my thoughts turn to:  "Really, Carrie, this is something you should have done ages ago.  Why didn't you stop drinking excessively 10 years ago?  Or at least 5 years ago?  Or, come on, at the very least you could have done this 2 years ago".

And this is Wolfie in a crafty disguise.  Trying to turn the good (sobriety) into something bad and anxiety-producing (What if-ing about timing).  The little sneak!

Once I caught on to his little scheme, I talked myself around it.

Yo, Carrie, good job!!  It took waiting until you were strong enough to quit drinking, but now you ARE strong enough.  And the support from your family is incredible!  And the online sober blogging-community?  How nourishing it is to see that you are not the only one struggling, that you weren't chosen out of all humanity to be the worst of the very very bad.  And how valuable their encouragement is!  Yup, you've learned a whole lot, and this was just the right time for you to take this giant step forward.

So There, you little creep!!


12 comments:

  1. Couldn't agree more and congratulations on 80 days! :)

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    1. That little Trickster! Sometimes I can catch him in action, and avoid talking to him at all!!

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  2. Replies
    1. I never really thought I could do this!

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  3. Congratulations on 80! Who could have imagined :)

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    1. You and I are nearing the end of the initial 100. And then what??

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  4. Good job telling Wolfie what's what! You have a great attitude! Congrats on 80 days...it's huge! :)

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    1. Day by day, we are making our way. Some are easier, some are harder. Thank you for your support!

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  5. Take that Wolfie! Another strong woman giving you what you deserve. And giving herself what she deserves too -- peace, calm, and a great night's sleep every night! Yay 80. That's awesome.

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    1. That sleep is a great motivator NOT to drink. I love the feeling of waking up rested and totally oriented to the evening before and the morning ahead. If sobriety brought just that one advantage, I would still turn into a seldom or never drinker!

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  6. I second that emotion! Yo Carrie! GREAT JOB!!!!!! Hugs!

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    1. Yo, Wolfie!! Fuck off!!! I don't use rude words often, but Fuck Off seems so perfectly satisfying in this context!!

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I'd love to hear about your journey, and hear your take on my journey. Comments are very welcome!!