Monday, January 13, 2014

Sober Day #76 - Why We Drink?

Here's what I found in my email this morning;

When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.

It's from Martha Beck, in a daily email inspiration thing I signed up for.  (um, for which I signed up?  or Up for which I signed?  nevermind!)

This quote is from a piece she wrote about Learn to Avoid Avoidance.  And that is definitely what I and so many of us are working on.  I feared that I was unable to deal with my feelings, that they were too strong, that they would overwhelm me...  so I ran straight to my anesthesia of choice, wine.

Unfortunately, the wine-escape didn't destroy, soften or process these feelings-  it just masked them for a while-  but they were right back again the next day, worse than ever.   Running from my feelings like this didn't provide any permanent solution, it just delayed my coping and made things worse (think of un-felt emotions as being like compound interest, growing heavier and more insistent day-by-unfelt-day!)

In South Beach, I think my driver for thinking about alcohol was more habit:  If I am in a beautiful tropical spot and having fun, it should also involve alcohol for maximum fun.

So  here is why I drank excessively:  Fear,  Avoidance, Fear, Habit, Fear.  These are not really very good reasons, are they?

No more running from emotions.  Turn and face those little fuckers, this is my new motto!

1 comment:

  1. I don't know about you but after the initial horrors of not drinking the fear of feelings I've found were actually worse than the feelings themselves. Now I'm less scared and overwhelmed than I used to be :)


I'd love to hear about your journey, and hear your take on my journey. Comments are very welcome!!