For the past week or so, I've been feeling just a wee bit bored. Bored with the effort of abstinence, bored with life in general.
Perhaps it is the gloomy winter weather, the lack of sun, the seemingly-perpetual cold? But I think I also hear the voice of Wolfie:
(soft whisper) "Now you've proven you can do it! Nearly 4 months without alcohol. But that means you have control, you don't have to keep doing this- go on, grab a bottle and settle down to an evening of real relaxation."
(more insistent) "You know what? This is getting really old. At first, it was a fab accomplishment, each day seemed like a new discovery- but can you say booooooring?"
(louder still) "This isn't going to work forever, you know. Go ahead and have a glass of wine when your friends are. That glass of club soda with lime looks so stupid."
And yet: I have made a commitment to myself for 2014 to be without alcohol. And I am physically feeling awesome. In a few weeks, I will be traveling to New Orleans again, and then on to a meeting in Las Vegas- there will be more sunshine there.
I think that voice above is not a true voice, not a helpful voice. I went to bed quite early last night to shut it up. Perhaps I need a new pair of shoes today. I've been craving a pair of navy blue patent leather pointy-toed flats. A web search for the perfect pair would be a nice project/reward for later today.
I might have to go to bed really early again tonight.