I'm finding that with longer sobriety (I'm working on month #4 now) my personal radar screen is changing. There are multiple things about my home, avocations and work that simply did not register when I was drinking. My MO then was do whatever is needed to 'keep the ship afloat'- ie, satisfactorily complete the tasks absolutely required for keeping an even keel to my life, and ignore everything else.
WRT the house, this was probably compounded by having a live-in Nanny/Housekeeper until just 2 years ago. When she was ready to retire, we decided that with our youngest being 13, we were ready to go solo. This remained more of a 'holding things together' approach, though, rather than anything deliberate or proactive. Crises were taken care of as they arose.
Over the past few months, I've begun realizing that there may actually be another way of doing things. For example- over the weekend, two of the smoke detectors were doing their very annoying shrill beeping to let me know they needed new batteries. Frustrated, I looked for batteries or another way to make them shut up. Then the thought struck- Wait, these were new when the house was built, almost 15 years ago. I know technology has improved! Sure enough, Amazon had dual-type smoke detectors capable of raising a warning about both a fast flash fire and a slow smoldering fire. I walked through the house counting smoke detectors and ordered a dozen of those suckers. And I will have a handyman install them when they arrive.
Fist pump into the air, I am proactively improving our home safety!
And last night, I was cooking. I was annoyed that my favorite knife was so dull, and unhappy at the way the electric knife sharpener I'd purchased was performing. How frustrating! Then, wait a minute, there are people who sharpen knives for a living. I had a little discovery quest with Mr. Google, and found a business quite nearby. This morning after working out, I took them my knives and scissors. Now not only do I have 6 very sharp knives- they also sharpened my fabric shears, AND honed the blade so that the broken off tip (Son trying to use it as a screwdriver) no longer shows. Wow!!
Another fist pump! I love chopping vegetables, etc, when I have a very sharp knife. This will really help with my Back-to-Eating-Low-Carb project.
I'm considering putting together a household calendar, with such things as: twice yearly take knives to be sharpened, get gutters cleaned, etc., etc.
While drinking wine most evenings, these are problems/tasks that never even appeared on my radar screen. I suppose you could say, see, sobriety is just giving you more To-Do jobs. But that is not how it feels. It feels as though I am getting out ahead, planning my life, investing a little time now to save major time or problems later- and I am very satisfied!
Whoop! I love this! Those tiny little things that actually stand for much bigger amazing things. The slow transformation that occurs in sober life. We lift up.. it happens slowly but it always happens.. we lift ourselves up, one smoke detector and sharpened knife at a time. Bless you and your household to-do list xxxx
ReplyDeleteYes! Our lives are actually an aggregate of this little things, the tiny moment-by-moment decisions- but it is easy for me to forget this. Every small choice, conscious or unconscious, contributes to the whole. Less drinking = more awareness of these small choices = major changes in life. I had no idea!!
DeleteThis post reminded me of one small thing that's a massive triumph to sober me who loves to cook. In the past 450-odd days, I have had zero standard units of alcohol, cut myself on kitchen knives zero times, and burned myself while handling hot pans zero times. Back in the old days I was sliced and blistered regularly. LIfe gets better in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteAha! And cooking become more nurturing and less of a combat activity, lol! I think blossoming is the right word, for your cooking, for my household managing, and other things for both of us. Talents, skills and longings that remained latent to my wine-soaked mind have been, well, blossoming (in lieu of any sign of spring outdoors, perhaps, lol!) Yay, Sue!!
DeleteIt was so easy to ignore things when you were hungover or to just be 'not arsed' enough to fix them when the kids are put to bed and you had to make a choice between drinking time or DIY. Go you!
ReplyDeleteSigh. You are so right. And I still find that allure of wine confusing. But I am doing fine now without it, so that is sufficient for today.
DeleteThis is great! I love just doing the things that need to be done rather than spending all the time wishing it would work, or be cleaned up. And when we were drinking it mattered less if things worked- especially since we ourselves weren't working right!
ReplyDeleteIt's basically taking care of ourselves, I think, in a way we never did when drinking!
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