Wow! I truly did not think this was something I could accomplish. I am amazed and grateful and very very happy. Wow!
As I settle into finishing this year without alcohol, there are a number of things I want to tackle/change. Some I knew for a while were problems, and other have become clearer as I see my life without the foggy lens of alcohol.
The biggest thing now is to continue disrupting that cycle of feel bad, feel bad about feeling bad, drink for relief. This 100 days has interrupted the knee-jerk response of feel bad, suck down some wine. But I am now ready to dig deeper, to examine how I create bad feelings in my life, and tackle changing these.
One of my 'favorite' mechanisms is to procrastinate- with any sort of task- feel bad about the task not being done, spend time worrying about it not being done- and spend more time on this cycle of counter-productive feeling than it actually would have taken to complete the task. It almost made me laugh when I figured out how pervasive this cycle is in my life- It is EVERYWHERE. And something so deeply ingrained is going be be a challenge to really change. But changing the behaviours that led me to feel the need to drink- this seems very important to me!
Yesterday, I set my phone for 25 minutes, and tackled my kitchen messiness. It took me an additional 10 minutes after this to finish it up to Really Tidy. But it looked so nice! And coming down this morning- to a tidy kitchen inviting me to have breakfast and pack a lunch for work today? It felt so calming and supportive.
And that is a beginning.