Wow! I truly did not think this was something I could accomplish. I am amazed and grateful and very very happy. Wow!
As I settle into finishing this year without alcohol, there are a number of things I want to tackle/change. Some I knew for a while were problems, and other have become clearer as I see my life without the foggy lens of alcohol.
The biggest thing now is to continue disrupting that cycle of feel bad, feel bad about feeling bad, drink for relief. This 100 days has interrupted the knee-jerk response of feel bad, suck down some wine. But I am now ready to dig deeper, to examine how I create bad feelings in my life, and tackle changing these.
One of my 'favorite' mechanisms is to procrastinate- with any sort of task- feel bad about the task not being done, spend time worrying about it not being done- and spend more time on this cycle of counter-productive feeling than it actually would have taken to complete the task. It almost made me laugh when I figured out how pervasive this cycle is in my life- It is EVERYWHERE. And something so deeply ingrained is going be be a challenge to really change. But changing the behaviours that led me to feel the need to drink- this seems very important to me!
Yesterday, I set my phone for 25 minutes, and tackled my kitchen messiness. It took me an additional 10 minutes after this to finish it up to Really Tidy. But it looked so nice! And coming down this morning- to a tidy kitchen inviting me to have breakfast and pack a lunch for work today? It felt so calming and supportive.
And that is a beginning.
HAPPY 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to the procrastination thing. There's just something about that adrenalin surge that gets me going - I'm surprised we're not hurling ourselves off cliffs in a hang glider :)
Hmmm- an interesting idea, lol! I have a meeting later this year in Las Vegas, and have found an attraction there called Dig This where one can actually 'drive' a real excavator or bulldozer- I'm on this one!!
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ReplyDeleteHooray, Carrie! Congrats on 100 days. Here's to all your great new days and discoveries in the rest of 2014! (I had to delete my first congrats because of garbled sleepy typing. Oops!)
ReplyDeleteMy morning fingers do that too, lol! Thanks for the encouragement!
DeleteCongratulations on 100 days! I think my first 100 days were focused mainly on not drinking, but lately that hasn't been as hard so it's been easier to work on other issues. You are doing so great, and I'm happy you are sticking with sober living for 2014. We can all work on this stuff...like procrastination...together! xx-Jen
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think that's going to be key for me: digging through and examining the actions and habits that caused me to feel bad enough that drinking seemed like the only possible respite. And I'm very happy to have you as a fellow traveler!
DeleteCongratulations!! 100 days is such a big deal. All the best to you on your journey to a sober 2014!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annabelle! I can feel it, it's going to be a very interesting year!
DeleteYay Go You! 100 days is awesome and I'm so glad we'll be doing this together for the next year :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Lucy! It's a strange journey, definitely. But rewarding!!
DeleteSuper big CONGRATULATIONS to you for 100 days. And huge thanks for sharing your stories and insights so generously. You're Awesome.
ReplyDeleteSue- thank you for your encouragement! I love the way we all share- it may keep me from having to make every single mistake for myself, lol!
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