So I have now made my decision: 2014 will be an alcohol-free year for me. But what a tussle it has been arriving at this.
Here are the things that tipped the scale toward continued abstinence for now:
(1) Listening to the experience of those who have had problems with moderation after abstinence. Which would be, as far as I can tell, everyone.
(2) Mrs. D, helping me see that I was confusing the two decisions: Whether to drink now, and what to use as sustainable rewards rather than food.
(3) A short kindle book called Between Drinks, as well as the many others I have read.
(4) Belle's counsel, about if it's working now, why take chances.
(5) My therapist's comment about the 3-6 month time period being the most dangerous for relapse when changing any sort of ingrained habit
(6) A long involved dream last night, which boiled down to a several-stage international flight gone awry, with all sorts of bizarre happenings, ending up where I'd started, feeling very annoyed about the whole thing. I decided the flight corresponded to trialing alcohol now, and that the ending would be wishing I hadn't.
(7) Lastly, my personal feeling of bouyancy, once I made this decision. I know it is right for me now.
My next task now? Coming up with an awesome panel of rewards and incentive to support and celebrate this decision.