One hundred and thirty days. How much I am learning. What I notice today- probably since Saturday is my long workout day- is how my feelings about fitness are shifting.
I've had a major commitment to fitness for about 10 years now. I work out with a trainer 3 times weekly, and do changing group pursuits the other days- pilates, TRX, barre, yoga, gyrotonics- you name it, and I will try it! Averaging at least an hour a day of vigorous activity.
Here's how I feel (or felt) at the beginning of a class/session: I have made the commitment to this, so I will do it. It's not very fun, but it IS important. I will zone out when possible, and take shortcuts as needed to get through it.
Today I noticed a shift. It's as though another layer of victim-hood is dropping away (for what I described above, if you reread it, is really being a victim of my own commitment). Today I noticed that when the work gets hard, I am leaning into it. When I just-about-can't do something, I push even harder. And I am reveling in the hardness, and how it moves me toward a greater level of fitness.
It still looks just the same from the outside- but it feels very different from the inside.