Sober Day #160- Alcohol, Time Zones and Jet Lag

Home again!  And what a very fun trip.  The journey home was smooth except for an agonizing 2.5 hours in various lines at US Customs in Toronto- but even that didn't drive me to drink!  

In the past, travel- and fear of flying- was always an excuse for copious wine consumption.  This time I had none.  

I think a lot of the factors and experiences I'd assigned to 'Jet Lag' actually seem to be drinking-related instead.  We arrived home at 11 PM local time on Saturday.  I was up and energetic for my 9 AM pilates class on Sunday, in bed by 10 last night, and up at 6 AM this morning- almost back to my normal 5- 5:30 AM getting-up time.  Without agony.  Feeling fully back in this time zone and ready to resume my normal schedule.  

This is very different from how I felt after a long-haul flight when I thought I needed wine- and lots of it- to cope with fear of flying.  Then I would get home, sleep fitfully, and awaken feeling draggy and out-of-sorts.  It would typically take me  a week or so to feel fully transferred to the new time zone, as far as my internal clock was concerned.  Coming home whether traveling east or west, was the worst, because it was just back to routine, without the novelty of being in a new or different place to entertain me.  

Hmmmm.  It appears (although I probably need to do LOTS of exotic travel to check out this theory, lol) that not drinking actually makes the mechanics of shifting time zones easier- what a revelation!

Sober Day #154: Flights and Pubs without Wine

I did it!  My first long flight without alcohol.  Eight hours or so, Chicago to Heathrow.  It was an overnight flight.  I did not head to the bar as soon as I cleared security.  Fortunately, the past 5 months have given me numerous opportunities for domestic flights, and I knew that my past need for wine before boarding a flight had more to do with a 'fear of fear' than with actual fear once I was in the air.

Here is a lovely pub in London, near our hotel in Mayfair.  Notice partial head-shot of 16 year old daughter in the lower left!  Eating in there entailed a diet coke with my yummy fish and chips.

I realized how much my vision of vacations or business travel is built around stopping in here and there for a drink.  This is very different:  Awakening each morning refreshed and myself, full of energy.  I've had a lot of practice with evenings and weekends at home without wine, even domestic travel without wine-  but this sort of travel is apparently in a different category in my wine-mind.  

And yet, I am persevering, reminding myself that is how I used to behave, not what I choose now.

On to Oxford tomorrow!

Sober Day #38- Travel & Kindness

Another flight today.  No wine.  It was OK.

I'm sitting at a resort outside Atlanta, temp nearly 80 degrees, sunny, looking out over a beautiful lake.  And at home everything is at a standstill due to an ice storm.

Traveling alone can make me pensive.  Today I've been thinking about what I was using alcohol to avoid, to mask.  What parts of my best self do I find uncomfortable to acknowledge, to appreciate?  Using a guideline for this trip of making self-care and sobriety my top priorty (screw anything that interferes with this!) is an interesting experience.  I am appreciating myself, perhaps even cherishing and celebrating myself.  This, I think, is something those of us who turn to excess amounts of alcohol do not do well.

What, I think, just what if, I treated myself like this all the time?  With honor, tenderness and care?  (as distinct from shirking necessary duties, turning into a lazy slob, or not doing anything productive!)  I mean, just what if I believed it was true?  That I am a good, kind, honorable being with a right to exist and a duty to be true to myself?

If I'd started from that place, I don't think alcohol would ever have seemed attractive?  How do we learn to be so mean, so careless and hurtful to ourselves?

The good part, however, is that we can recognize and change this.  This is a journey we are all on, and I am so grateful for this cyber-community the celebrates and reinforces this new world-view and self-view!!!

Sober Day #24- Alcohol and Routine and Travel

For the last 24 days, I have been at home, settling into my normal routine:  Normal work hours, normal school hours for daughter.  I am getting used to the rhythm of this, and each evening without wine is a little easier than the next.  But a new challenge is coming up.

Tomorrow we leave to spend the week of Thanksgiving in New Orleans. I've spent a fair amount of time there, although I've never lived there.  We love the city, and it is where we eventually plan to retire.  BUT- it is definitely the land to Big Eating and Big Drinking!!!  I certainly plan to take advantage of the Eating- but I do not plan to drink.  I mean, I will not drink.  And this will be new, and possibly difficult.  Usually when we spend time in New Orleans, we get right into the routine of a lot of great food and great drink.  I'm not sure if approaching this routine with a major change- no alcohol- will be hard or not.

DH has decided he will support me by not ordering wine or beer for himself when we are eating out.  He loves his glass or two of red wine each evening, so I really appreciate this help!  (And he is one of those who has his two glasses of wine, and switched to Fresca- no problem.  sigh.)

I've been noticing at home that I am more aware, more noticing of little details of delight- tastes, sounds, smells, etc-  that I would in the past zip by in my hurry to get to the next glass of wine.  There is so much to appreciate in New Orleans-  I am hoping the richness of the new appreciation of my senses and surroundings will compensate for the 'loss' of the rosy glow of wine.