Sober Day #120- Boredom and Abstinence

For the past week or so, I've been feeling just a wee bit bored.  Bored with the effort of abstinence, bored with life in general.

Perhaps it is the gloomy winter weather, the lack of sun, the seemingly-perpetual cold?  But I think I also hear the voice of Wolfie:

(soft whisper) "Now you've proven you can do it!  Nearly 4 months without alcohol.  But that means you have control, you don't have to keep doing this-  go on, grab a bottle and settle down to an evening of real relaxation."

(more insistent) "You know what?  This is getting really old.  At first, it was a fab accomplishment, each day seemed like a new discovery- but can you say booooooring?"

(louder still)  "This isn't going to work forever, you know.  Go ahead and have a glass of wine when your friends are.  That glass of club soda with lime looks so stupid."

And yet:  I have made a commitment to myself for 2014 to be without alcohol.  And I am physically feeling awesome.  In a few weeks, I will be traveling to New Orleans again, and then on to a meeting in Las Vegas- there will be more sunshine there.

I think that voice above is not a true voice, not a helpful voice.  I went to bed quite early last night to shut it up.  Perhaps I need a new pair of shoes today.  I've been craving a pair of navy blue patent leather pointy-toed flats.  A web search for the perfect pair would be a nice project/reward for later today.

I might have to go to bed really early again tonight.