Sober Day #59

Chilling at home- a welcome experience.  I've been enjoying working on quilts and making glass beads. This feeds my soul where it is hungry, where in the past I would have tried to feed that hunger with the distraction of wine.  This is much better.

And enjoying the company of my family, human and fur-faced:

I do see better without wine.  This is a totally new way of doing Christmas.  Now for tackling the alcohol-fest otherwise known as New Year's Eve!

Sober Day #48- Tomorrow is Another Day

I've always had an uneasy relationship with Time.  As in, There is Never Enough, and My To-Do List won't Ever Fit, and It Is My Enemy and Once I Start Something, I Must Ignore Everything Else to Complete This One Task.  The end result of this is that I would reach the day's end and feel very critical of myself-  I might have completed one or two, possibly three tasks.  But there were 5 zillion more on my list I hadn't even spend 5 minutes on.  And Play-Time?  Not even a background thought.

And this is changing.  The change is something I have noticed, not something I've done deliberately.
I know my research lab has been most productive when we are managing multiple studies at once.  We review them weekly, deciding to the Next Step and Who is Responsible (a la David Allen's Getting Things Done).  When we get stymied or blocked on one study, there's always another we can push ahead with.  I call this process Sheparding-  as in trying to get a whole flock of projects progressing in the right direction-  Some are always out ahead of the herd-  and if some are falling behind, we need to run back and coax them up with the rest of the flock.

What I noticed first about time was that it wasn't feeling so urgent to me.  That I could do an intensive half hour of one activity at home, then switch to another EVEN if the first wasn't completely finished.  You may laugh, but this was a revolution for me!

Once I noticed this, it occurred to me that I could use the Sheparding process at home also:  Looking at the constellation of all tasks (both chores and fun projects) as my herd (oops, stars and sheep, very mixed metaphors, sorry!), and push a bit on one, then a bit on another-  and reach the end of the day feeling satisfied rather than critical-  Thus eliminating, or at least modifying, another source adding to the heavy backpack filled with stress that led me straight to alcohol for relief.

As I was lying in bed last night, playing one last game of Candy Crush before turning off my light-  I found myself thinking back over my days, feeling pretty satisfied with the work/play ratio.  And instead of beginning to heap on the criticism for not completing more, I found that voice in the back of my head saying, with compassion and encouragement, Tomorrow is Another Day.

Two of yesterdays projects:  Wrapping Presents and Trimming the Christmas Tree:

Sober Day #34- Christmas, Autocorrect and 21st Birthday!!

Wow, I'm 1/3 of the way to finishing my initial 100-day challenge.  It's hard for me to believe I could actually do this!  Although now I feel pretty confident of being able to finish the full 100 days-  even though those 100 days encompass holiday parties, Christmas and New Year's Eve.  Phew!

The good thing about this time of year, though, is the vast number of satisfying activities that don't necessarily require alcohol.  Trimming the tree?  On my agenda for today!  Finishing the match-making of friends and family with gifts they will love?  80% done!  Enjoying wrapping the presents, beginning stuffing stockings?  Next weekend, I think.

And great news!  Older daughter, who lives about an 8 hours drive away, will be coming home later this month for a few days, and will be here to celebrate her 21st birthday with us! (She is a December 22nd baby).  I texted her that Dad would take her out for a gin and tonic, but we'd stick to flavored seltzer water at home (she knows about and supports my participation in the 100 day challenge).  But Autocorrect changed my text to "Gun and Tonic"- and she allowed as how Gin was more enticing to her than Gun, lol!!  That app is full of giggles-  yesterday it also changed 'septoplasty' to 'sextuplets'-  a veritable comedian!!

And no wine in my life these days!  It does get a little easier.  But not Easy.