The well-known First Step of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is "admitting we are powerless over alcohol". And the oft-quoted introduction of a new member to a group is "Hi, I'm xxxx, and I am an alcoholic".
I acknowledge that AA has been helpful for many people in coming to grips with/quitting drinking alcohol. But for me, at least, AA delayed my facing that I was not doing well with alcohol.
First off, I am a Do-It person. I'm powerless over the weather, or international politics, or what color is fashionable this spring- but I am NOT powerless over alcohol. I take full responsibility for my actions. Nobody ever propped my mouth open and poured wine into it- except myself. I drank because I thought I needed the respite of wine to deal with the rest of my life. Yes, there is a genetic predisposition for many, and childhood/family-of-origin issues that make drinking more alluring- but it is ME! I made the decision TO drink, and I can make the decision NOT TO drink. I had absolutely no inclination toward joining any organization that told me I was NOT responsible for my own actions.
Secondly: Ask several hundred people to define 'alcoholic'- and you will receive several hundred different answers. The most prevalent image seems to be the homeless bum or bag-lady, drinking El Cheapo wine or whiskey, then passing out face down in the gutter in his/her vomit. This is NOT me. I am an accomplished professional with a great family and home. So I reject using the label 'alcoholic'. I have had problems with alcohol, have been a problem drinker, maybe even alcohol-dependent at one point. But I WILL NOT call myself an alcoholic.
Third, there's all that 'turning oneself over to a higher power' stuff. I am a deeply spiritual person, but not particularly religious, and also found that language to be a turn-off.
Like many other people, I thought my two options were to continue drinking or to join AA. Neither appealed to me much, but AA was worse than continuing to drink. Imagine my surprise- and delight- over the past two months to have discovered a vibrant on-line sober community.
I crossed my two personal 'red lines' for alcohol in a single day, and said, that's it, I'm done for a while. How long that would have lasted I don't know- maybe a week or two? But I came across Belle's 100 Day Challenge, and found that finite goal of 100 days (not stopping drinking forever, just committing to a little more than three months) to be a do-able goal. Through Belle's blog, I have 'met' so many others on similar journeys of exploration. I take pleasure in giving encouragement to those in their first few days or weeks, and find great meaning and help in the posts of those who are many months or years into their sober journey.
At a guess, I'd say that thinking AA was the only alternative to continuing to drink probably delayed by 5+ years my deciding to make a change in my relationship with alcohol. I think the existence of this sober online community and countless other options for help in stopping for cutting down on drinking need to be much more widely known. That is, assuming we have a common goal of helping ourselves and anyone else we come into contact with to be the best, most fulfilled person they are capable of being!
I'm still not sure exactly what I will do after these 100 days. I know I will never go back to a bottle or wine or more every evening! I am becoming far too fond of excellent restful sleep, a clear head and an energetic step to go back to that drowsy, foggy, semi-grumpy place. But neither do I think I can live with: Never Ever Ever will a Drop of Alcohol Cross these Lips.
So I will see what I find out, what I develop- and continue to record my experiences here, where I have sworn to myself to include nothing but my absolute truth!
I acknowledge that AA has been helpful for many people in coming to grips with/quitting drinking alcohol. But for me, at least, AA delayed my facing that I was not doing well with alcohol.
First off, I am a Do-It person. I'm powerless over the weather, or international politics, or what color is fashionable this spring- but I am NOT powerless over alcohol. I take full responsibility for my actions. Nobody ever propped my mouth open and poured wine into it- except myself. I drank because I thought I needed the respite of wine to deal with the rest of my life. Yes, there is a genetic predisposition for many, and childhood/family-of-origin issues that make drinking more alluring- but it is ME! I made the decision TO drink, and I can make the decision NOT TO drink. I had absolutely no inclination toward joining any organization that told me I was NOT responsible for my own actions.
Secondly: Ask several hundred people to define 'alcoholic'- and you will receive several hundred different answers. The most prevalent image seems to be the homeless bum or bag-lady, drinking El Cheapo wine or whiskey, then passing out face down in the gutter in his/her vomit. This is NOT me. I am an accomplished professional with a great family and home. So I reject using the label 'alcoholic'. I have had problems with alcohol, have been a problem drinker, maybe even alcohol-dependent at one point. But I WILL NOT call myself an alcoholic.
Third, there's all that 'turning oneself over to a higher power' stuff. I am a deeply spiritual person, but not particularly religious, and also found that language to be a turn-off.
Like many other people, I thought my two options were to continue drinking or to join AA. Neither appealed to me much, but AA was worse than continuing to drink. Imagine my surprise- and delight- over the past two months to have discovered a vibrant on-line sober community.
I crossed my two personal 'red lines' for alcohol in a single day, and said, that's it, I'm done for a while. How long that would have lasted I don't know- maybe a week or two? But I came across Belle's 100 Day Challenge, and found that finite goal of 100 days (not stopping drinking forever, just committing to a little more than three months) to be a do-able goal. Through Belle's blog, I have 'met' so many others on similar journeys of exploration. I take pleasure in giving encouragement to those in their first few days or weeks, and find great meaning and help in the posts of those who are many months or years into their sober journey.
At a guess, I'd say that thinking AA was the only alternative to continuing to drink probably delayed by 5+ years my deciding to make a change in my relationship with alcohol. I think the existence of this sober online community and countless other options for help in stopping for cutting down on drinking need to be much more widely known. That is, assuming we have a common goal of helping ourselves and anyone else we come into contact with to be the best, most fulfilled person they are capable of being!
I'm still not sure exactly what I will do after these 100 days. I know I will never go back to a bottle or wine or more every evening! I am becoming far too fond of excellent restful sleep, a clear head and an energetic step to go back to that drowsy, foggy, semi-grumpy place. But neither do I think I can live with: Never Ever Ever will a Drop of Alcohol Cross these Lips.
So I will see what I find out, what I develop- and continue to record my experiences here, where I have sworn to myself to include nothing but my absolute truth!
