I'm not sure why I keep counting days- except that it gives me a sense of pleasure and accomplishment to see that number climb steadily higher. So I will continue it for a while longer.
Our visas for India arrived yesterday- Hurray!! Next week we'll set off for New Delhi- and I am sooo excited!!
I realized that if we were making this trip a year ago, I would have some reluctance, because I would be unsure of having a ready supply of alcohol in a country I was unfamiliar with. This would have colored, contaminated all my thinking about the trip. How very wonderful it is to realize the absence of this preoccupation!
I am reading a very meaningful book right now. It is Taking the Leap, Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears by the American Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron. Interestingly, I was climbing out of my car at Starbucks the other day, and glanced at a cute sports car parked near me. I noticed the vanity license plate: Leap Now. So when I came across this book on Amazon later that day, I decided: Why not??
This book is not addressed at alcohol or other addictions, except it is. It talks about the hard-wired tendency of all humans to avoid discomfort and pain. And about all the things we use to avoid discomfort, from super-busy-ness to cell phone obsession to food, gambling, drugs, alcohol.
Here's a direct quote: "The sad part is that all we're trying to do is not feel that underlying uneasiness. The sadder part is that we proceed in such a way that the uneasiness only gets worse. The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully" (p 28)
And isn't that what we all discover when newly sober? A world of emotions we've been avoiding, ready to pounce and disturb our new and fragile equilibrium? And yet, sitting with these emotions, feeling them rather than avoiding them - through them rather than around them- is the way to quiet their incessant voices and begin to feel comfortable with ourselves!
A good and highly recommended read!