tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370806816189738825.post842108929525033914..comments2023-05-15T03:41:26.209-07:00Comments on It's different now: Sober Day #52 Alcohol and VictimsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02321547766936093369noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370806816189738825.post-19974441183166322792013-12-21T04:44:29.186-08:002013-12-21T04:44:29.186-08:00Author Harriet Lerner talks (in Dance of Intimacy ...Author Harriet Lerner talks (in Dance of Intimacy or Dance of Connection) about how when one person in a relationship changes the 'steps of the dance', the other person often without realizing, pushes to change the steps back to the way they were. I think this happens in our relationships with ourselves, also. And so when we see how capable we can be- it CAN frighten us, and make us retreat back the the known cocoon of alcohol, as unhealthy as we know that to be. <br />A great value of these sober blogs is to see others doing this step-forward, step-back dance- and the ultimate successes- and this makes us a bit more patient with our own wobbly paths!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02321547766936093369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370806816189738825.post-79721158214370615112013-12-21T04:37:36.949-08:002013-12-21T04:37:36.949-08:00I've just added that book to my Wish List on A...I've just added that book to my Wish List on Amazon - it looks very tasty! And I take your point- the Heavy Drinking pathways we wish we could blast out of existence are not blastable- and they will always be their to trip us up at vulnerable moments. Their voices do, however, become softer and weaker with disuse. But you and I will never become carefree, take it or leave it, drinkers, I think. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02321547766936093369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370806816189738825.post-58325532746583389382013-12-20T13:15:58.203-08:002013-12-20T13:15:58.203-08:00I'm with you on the victim/can-do split person...I'm with you on the victim/can-do split personality thing! I think that people can get scared of how much they can do and when they see this that can send them scuttling back to the perceived safety of before. It is so empowering it can be overwhelming. Yay on 52 days :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370806816189738825.post-42154974666605298732013-12-20T11:01:18.511-08:002013-12-20T11:01:18.511-08:00Hooray for you, Carrie! This is inspiring. I'v...Hooray for you, Carrie! This is inspiring. I've been a big fan of oblivion too, mixing it up with a fierce can-do attitude. I like how you point out that they can be separated! <br /><br />I also wanted to comment on your neuroplasticity post yesterday but didn't get a chance. Last summer I read a great book about habit (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg) that talked about neuro stuff. One thing I've been thinking about recently is that yes, you do make the changes, but the old pathways never go away. They are still there underneath, and can be reactivated easily. So on the one hand, you never forget how to ride a bike. These days I'm thinking it might also mean that the heavy drinking habit will always be established in some neural patterns, so this moderation thing simply can't be taken lightly. I thought I'd pass that along to you since I know you're interested in both subjects.<br /><br />Big congrats on 52 days!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08288935120774241198noreply@blogger.com